If your child has been bullied, you know how hard it can be for them to feel safe and calm again. Emotional regulation, or managing emotions in a healthy way, can be especially challenging but is also key to helping them feel empowered and secure. Here are some tips and activities you can try to help your child process their feelings and build emotional resilience in fun, hands-on ways.
1. Create a “Feelings Talk” Space
Kids need a safe place to open up. Set aside a spot at home (like a cozy corner or a favorite chair) that you both use for “Feelings Talks.” Let your child know this space is for any worries, fears, or frustrations they want to share.
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Grab a “Feelings Jar” and some small paper slips. Every evening, invite your child to write (or draw) one feeling or thought on a slip of paper and drop it into the jar. Once a week, you can sit together, pull out some slips, and discuss. This makes talking about feelings fun and less intimidating.
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2. Practice Belly Breathing Together
Deep breathing can help children calm down quickly. “Belly breathing” is a simple exercise: have them place one hand on their belly, then slowly inhale through their nose so their belly rises, and exhale through their mouth. It’s like blowing up a balloon, which makes it fun and visual.
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Turn it into a game! Ask your child to pretend they’re blowing up a balloon (or blowing out birthday candles) and count along with their breaths. To make it extra special, give them a balloon to hold while they practice, so they can watch it expand and feel it connect with their breath.
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3. Use Art as an Emotional Outlet
Art can be a powerful tool for expressing emotions when words feel too hard. Give your child simple materials like crayons, markers, and paper, and let them create freely. They might not draw anything about bullying, but the act of drawing or coloring helps release tension.
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Set up a “Feelings Art Day.” Prompt your child with ideas like, “What would your safe place look like?” or “Can you draw what a brave person looks like?” Then, display their artwork as a reminder of their strength and imagination.
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4. Teach Positive Self-Talk
Children who are bullied often start believing the hurtful words they hear. Teaching them to reframe negative thoughts with positive ones can be incredibly empowering. You can start by modeling it: if you spill coffee, for example, say, “Oops! It’s okay; I’ll clean it up and try again.”
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Make a “Compliment Jar” together. Every time your child says something positive about themselves or does something kind, write it on a slip and add it to the jar. On tough days, pull out some of these notes as a reminder of their great qualities.
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5. Try Role-Playing Situations
Role-playing can help your child feel more prepared to handle difficult situations. You can practice different responses to bullying, like what to do if someone says something unkind. It builds confidence and gives them a sense of control.
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Turn it into a fun “game of pretend.” You can say, “What would you say if a friend was being unkind?” and play out the scenarios with silly voices or characters to make it lighthearted. Give high-fives after each practice round!
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6. Use a Strengths Chart
Highlighting their strengths helps children see themselves as more than their bullying experience. Create a simple “Strengths Chart” together. List qualities that make them unique and strong, such as “kind,” “creative,” or “great at drawing.”
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Each week, ask your child to add something new to their Strengths Chart. You might say, “I noticed you helped your friend today! Let’s add ‘thoughtful’ to the chart.” Seeing their strengths grow can be incredibly uplifting.
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7. Create a “Feelings Toolbox
A “Feelings Toolbox” is a box filled with items your child can use to calm down when emotions feel overwhelming. Include things like a stress ball, favorite book, small snack, coloring sheet, or a small stuffed animal.
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Decorate the box together with stickers, paint, or markers. Let your child choose items that feel soothing. Encourage them to reach for their toolbox whenever they need a moment to themselves.
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8. Establish a “Talk Time” Routine
Setting a regular check-in time helps your child know they can talk about anything on their mind. Make it a time they can count on—like before bedtime or during a family walk. Regular talk time makes it feel less pressured to open up about big feelings.
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Have a “Feelings and Gratitude Walk” each week. Take a stroll around the block and take turns sharing one thing that made you feel happy, one thing that was tough, and one thing you’re grateful for. This helps them learn that everyone has ups and downs.
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9. Encourage Journaling (Even with Pictures)
If your child enjoys writing or drawing, give them a special notebook to use as their “Feelings Journal.” Encourage them to write, draw, or doodle whatever they want, especially if they feel overwhelmed. This is a safe place for their thoughts.
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Make a “Feelings Flipbook” by folding pieces of paper and stapling them together. Each page can show a different emotion they feel during the week. This can help your child recognize and identify their emotions in a fun way.
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10. Celebrate the Little Wins
Every time your child tries a new coping skill or takes a small step forward, celebrate it! Recognizing these efforts helps them feel proud and builds resilience over time. Even if they’ve had a tough day, the small wins can make them feel like they’re making progress.
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Create a “Bravery Sticker Chart.” Every time they try a new technique, share a feeling, or stay calm in a tough situation, add a sticker to the chart. Celebrate with a small reward after a certain number of stickers—like an ice cream treat or movie night together.
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Final Thoughts
Helping your child develop emotional regulation after bullying can take time, but these small activities can make a big difference. By supporting their ability to express themselves, practice calm responses, and build confidence, you’re giving them the tools they need to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience. Remember, the journey is as important as the destination. Celebrate the small steps, and know that every effort you make together strengthens their ability to face challenges with courage.
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With these practical, hands-on ideas, parents can gently support your
child’s emotional development and build a strong foundation for resilience. Remember, you don’t need to do all of these at once—pick one or two that feel right, and build from there.
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